happy birthday to me!

As of yesterday, I am now 24.

24 (!!!)

My mama, her body an automatic alarm clock, every year wakes up at 4:47am, body remembering, re-living the first minute of my life. And some years, my body does the same, awakening to the exact moment years and years past.

As I celebrated my birthday yesterday, it registers to me that I have spent literally my entire 23rd year of life in chemotherapy, in treatments, radiation, hospital visits.

I remember last year’s birthday, worry in the depth of my diaphragm, waiting still on results from scans, from tests. 3 days later, relapse-strike number 3 hit.

It has been quite a year.

Quite a year of training in grace reminders, gospel truths, steadfastness, discipline of gratitude, Spirit-dependence.

I wouldn’t want my 23rd year of life to look any different.

And it amazes me how many prayers and thoughts and cards written and encouragement notes and food deliveries and car-rides and conversations and visits and help, help from others and God inspiring others to move towards me that has brought me to this point where I can celebrate my 24th birthday. Spirit reminds me and brings me back:

2 corinthians 1

…we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

Gratitude, gratitude that He has strengthened me and used you all to carry me here in this new season of life.

Here is to 24!

Who knows how He will use it next!

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