responses.

I’ll admit to you: its strange and interesting to see the responses of strangers when you tell them that you have cancer, are undergoing chemo, are a cancer survivor.

I know I/my body shocks people. (You’re 23? You have cancer? For the third time?!)
I know sometimes the look of sympathy or pity (which is meant well by the sympathy-looker, well intentioned, yes.)
I receive hugs sometimes.
I receive also glances that want to ask but are unsure if they would be rude to stare and ask more, as if I would be revealing my soul to them.
I’m told a lot that “I’ll be praying for you” (which I will always gladly, gladly accept!)
I’m told that “You have a great attitude about it!” or “I would have never known!”
Or I’m told about a family member of theirs that have cancer
Or the person herself tells me her own cancer-survivor story.

Wow.

How varying of responses! How varying life is! How varying we all are.

And yet, I try to not vary in my response—
I have a good God. 

psalm 18

I love you, Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
    my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

How easy it is though to sometimes slip up and want to take the credit, but it all so immediately feels just odd. I don’t truly do anything! I sit and receive chemotherapy and grace and healing. I have a good God. 

Yes, I have a good God.

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