i write for,

This blog is really the first time I’ve ever written for an audience. I’ve always written for myself, for the private heart of my soul, to communicate with Him as I write down all of my prayers and thoughts. Writing for me is personal in nature. To write a blog was a scary and yet exciting step of faith. I knew it was what He called me to do shortly after I was diagnosed again this past July; He spoke to me through the heat of worry and reminded me of his gracious gift of writing, of the ability to communicate.

Funny, writing this blog was really an answered prayer of mine. I’ve been constantly asking Him why He gave me the ability to write, why I’ve always been so drawn to the written word. And yet, here it is I’m learning and realizing: this blog, to communicate the truths I’m learning, the joyous moments, the dark shadows that are within my mind, and the fuzziness of trying to walk across from despair to joy on a tipe-rope of faith, faith.

This blog, although it is seeming to benefit others, my friends, is ultimate a gift of grace for me that God has given.

I write for me.

Your eyes are beholding part thoughts/part prayer journal. My soul communicating with the Holy Spirit within me, sometimes listening, sometimes boxing.

And I every so often go back and re-read my past blog posts and am in awe of all of the thoughts, revelations He has provided for me as I hit the hard, dark earth of my mind with a pencil-shovel in my hand. He shows me with His Spirit where to start digging and unearths for me thoughts I never even knew where deep, deep in my soul. Insightful, revealtory: these are gifts of grace, hidden treasures, yes, under x-marks-the-spot-grace-moments.

I’m reflecting some of those moments today of grace and insight, admiring the hidden treasures of my soul and the gospel laid there.

I thought you’d maybe like to reflect back with me. Listen, listen dear hearts of ours to His treasure-truths once again: me reading aloud.

We listen and reflect to remember and bring forth praise.

psalm 105

Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name;
    make known among the nations what he has done.
Sing to him, sing praise to him;
    tell of all his wonderful acts.
Glory in his holy name;
    let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
Look to the Lord and his strength;
    seek his face always.

Remember the wonders he has done,
    his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,
you his servants, the descendants of Abraham,
    his chosen ones, the children of Jacob.
He is the Lord our God;
    his judgments are in all the earth.

He remembers his covenant forever,
    the promise he made, for a thousand generations,
the covenant he made with Abraham,
    the oath he swore to Isaac.
10 He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree,
    to Israel as an everlasting covenant:
11 “To you I will give the land of Canaan
    as the portion you will inherit.”

The psalmist goes on to sing, to recall, to reflect on all the history that the Lord has done through Israel: a cause to listen, listen as he sings for us moment upon moment of God’s faithfulness to the Israelites through Joseph, the Exodus, the Wilderness. I listen to myself again as I look back on all the history-grace moments that are informing me of the present-grace moments to further deepen and instill the hope-confidence in me that is a well in my soul, a well that the Holy Spirit has shown me is far, far deeper than I ever thought was even possible: a bottomless well of joy that I constantly and coming to and am overflowingly satisfied.

ephesians 3

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

The well is deep, deep of grace and love.

Let’s plunge the bucket down again once more.

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