days 29, 30 & scans.

day 29: Friendsgiving with my college homechurch.

God whispers to me:
this year it’s not what are you thankful for but to whom? 

Thanks, gratitude accepts that we are humble recepients, unable to make our needs met, and acknowledges that someone else did so for us. Give thanks.

james 1

17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

romans 5

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 

day 30: hibernation, for both mama & I.
sleeping on and off during the last day of treatment week. one more week done!

yesterday, scans:
the quickest yet. all done in about 2.5 hours, which is about half the time we usually spend for scans. which was truly God’s gift, I know. we didn’t have to wait for an hour for my MRI (my 42nd MRI of my lifetime) but instead I got pushed up for my MRI. wow! that never happens!

its not waiting for the MRI that is most time consuming but the wait after. there will be now days where we don’t know, waiting for the images to be read, read again, looked over by multiple wise eyes.

some cancer patients call this waiting period before/after scans scanxiety. I truly don’t feel any more anxious than normal, not pondering too much about what the pictures will look like, what if it looks different, etc. even if I wanted to, these truths shield mind-anxiety:

philippians 4

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

HERE ARE THE SUCH THINGS.

2 corinthians 4

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

fact:
I know my scans will show that “I am outwardly wasting away.”

fact:
my body is and was always destined for that, cancer or not.

fact:
the scans won’t show that “I am being renewed day by day.”

fact:
but I still will fix my eyes on such truths, such things.

 

recall, philippians 4 again.
back up a few verses from earlier:

philippians 4

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

with thanksgiving.

how timely (!)

convert your anxieties into thanks.
“thanksgiving re-orients ourselves”
step outside of the small box you place yourself in and see the larger circles around you expanding, ripling peace.

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