day 27: 10 years a survivor

Exactly 10 years ago, I was sitting in Dr. Mayerson’s office, and I learned that I had cancer at 13 years old.

Today, 10 years later, I am sitting in Children’s Hospital, undergoing a 3rd cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy for the 3rd time alongside a friend that I wouldn’t have ever imagined I would one day have. (joy!)

10 years ago, I definitely wouldn’t have envisioned this life. I barely even knew what cancer was back then. (13 year old mindset: I’m going to lose my hair. I might die. Kids can get cancer?) And if back then the MRI was a crystal ball, showing us in its images the next 10 years of my life, the other future diagnosises, knowing what I know now, I honestly wouldn’t have changed it.

Although suffering sifts you and the others around you like wheat, you do learn more deeply about yourself, the Lord and his goodness and faithfulness and struggle at times to remember and see even clearer the long term perspective that this will one day end, we will be with him, where our bodies, hearts and minds all truly long to be.

10 years a survivor.

Not by my own doing certainly! I am the abnornmal statistic based off my diagnosis, my recurrences. But Someone clearly wants me to be here still, although some days I don’t see it at all and others I see a small moment of understanding. In faith, I one day wait to see it, picture clear, clear next to the Clearest Envisioner and Sovereign.

10 years a survivor,
of learning who He is on this earth before I get to be with Him forever, of connecting with others and having some of the best friendships ever, of helping others get a chance to understand that they too can have a relationship with God and how to deepen that.

These 10 years have been good because He is Good.

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